It's a Process. It's a Journey.

I found myself deep in thought for a few minutes today. I haven't  had one of those moments for a while where I've been immersed in my own thoughts, sorting out what I think and believe in my own little head, which seems to have countless depths to explore.

I was thinking about what I know now (essentially nothing) and what I knew just a few years ago. I am amazed at how much I've learned in just the past year. I sat in thought driving through campus (which is quite funny if you know anything about my college. It has a perimeter of about a mile and a half...there is not much to drive through). But that's about the time my thought stayed.

I realized that I am no longer in a rush. I am no longer in a rush to figure things out, find the right answers, and become a "good Christian." Not that we can actually be "good," but I did think I could get to a place where I was doing most things right.

I'm okay with where I'm at in my journey of life, my journey of faith. I'm okay with not knowing. I'm okay with having beliefs, thoughts, and opinions that are going to change. I do not have to have it figured out, pinned down, cut down to precisely what I am going to believe for the rest of my years.

To clarify some of this, I am not saying that I am complacent. I'm not advocating for wandering and lollygagging through life as if nothing matters. I'm not in a rush to figure things out because I know that it is a process. I am eager, that's for sure. I'm not avoiding things, but going through the processes of learning and maturing.

I'm not "okay with where I'm at" in the sense that I don't plan on moving. I'm not setting up camp. I'm not staying forever. I'm simply okay with the fact that I am on a journey.

I'm not saying that I am complacent in my knowledge. I want to learn more. Gosh, if I could read books half of the day and talk to people the other half, I would do that for the rest of my life! I want to learn more.

I'm not okay with having beliefs, thoughts, and opinions that are going to change because I don't care what I think, but because I know life, maturity, and knowledge are all processes. It takes time. It takes steps. It requires us to believe something in order to mold, shape, and change that belief.

This is essentially the thought I had today that entered my mind only to drift out just moments later. It's not expansive, nor quality wisdom, but it's something. I may, and probably will, look at this five months from now and disagree with half of it, and that's okay. I'm okay with that, but I'm in no rush to figure it out. I am eager, but not rushed. I'm on a journey, I'm okay with where I'm at, but I don't intend on staying here.